Last Resort

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The Last Resort is yet another fine dive establishment.  Located at 3205 south Federal Hwy in Delray Beach just north of Lindell Blvd. on the east side in the Pelican Harbor Shoppes.  It’s been open for nearly two decades and has been at its current location for the last six years.  The husband and wife that run the bar have been described as “on-hand” owners by the employees.  Only five people work at the Last Resort including the owners.

“We’re almost like a family, we take care of each other,” said Jen, whom has worked for the Resort for 14 years.

This place is the product of a dive bar engaging in coitus with a pool hall.  It’s large enough to fit eight pool tables with ample room to loiter and flee from unwanted banter.  Four tables are regulation size and can be “rented” for $6 an hour.  The other four are typical dive tables which run a cheap $.75 a game.  In addition to only one dartboard, the Last Resort possesses a vital asset… Galaga!  In the back of the bar, the $.25 a play arcade machine is the main attraction in my opinion.

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On Mondays there is a “Bottoms Up” trivia game. The winner receives an astounding $7 bar tab! Might make it worthwhile if you have nothing to do Monday night.

Happy Hour is seven days a week from 3-7pm., the best deal being a 20oz mug for $1.85. If you find yourself there after hours, then I would suggest indulging in the $5.85 pitcher of Budweiser. The bar allows smoking and encourages its patrons to bring in food. There is a menu board at the entrance for suggested delivery/pick-up. Regulars are even permitted to bring in their own CD if the old fashion jukebox doesn’t have your type of tunage. As long as its not rap or country…

Like most other dives, the Last Resort is dimly lit except where the pool tables are. But unlike most dives, there doesn’t seem to be much disorderly altercations.

“I’m really good at catching a yellow fly before it turns red,” informs divetender Pam.

The bar is open everyday from 3pm-2am and the two communal (male/female) toilets are exceptionally clean by any standards.

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But among the arcade games, the cheap pool and drinks, there is always one constant that most dive regulars gravitate toward…

“If I’m buying a beer, I don’t like the fact that I have to go outside and smoke a cig like some kind of pariah of society,” announces Last Resort patron, Blake, as he enjoys his freshly lit smoke.
The highlight of the night for me was being slapped in the ass by some short haired, polo collar-popped woman as she slurred something about music. Perplexed confusion surrounded me like bloodthirsty wolves. All I could do was gesture toward my black Led Zeppelin shirt and exclaim “Hell ya babe!” An extra dirty mug just for that.

4 out of 5 dirty mugs. Enjoy…

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